How do you combine personal and professional online without pissing people off?
This guest post has been contributed by Monica O’Brien, author of the book Social Pollination: Escape the Hype of Social Media and Join the Companies Winning At It. Social Pollination provides a strategic blueprint that helps businesses leverage social media for crazy growth! For a limited time, purchase Social Pollination and get a free membership to Monica’s private coaching forum.
This is what Monica has to say:
Back in high school, one of my teachers told the class that he never had a glass of wine when he went out to dinner with his wife. It wasn’t because he didn’t drink, he said, but rather because if he were pulled over on the way home, a DUI would tarnish his reputation in the community and ruin his chances of becoming principal someday. I remember thinking, the guy never stops being a disciplinarian – an example for others. He never lets loose.
And I knew that day that I never wanted a profession where I couldn’t have a regular life after work.
10 years later, the entire world is doing exactly what my former teacher (now high school principal) did to manage his career. Nowadays, everyone has a personal brand – a way to demonstrate value to others quickly and succinctly. And everyone’s personal brand seems to combine professional pursuits with interests and hobbies, blending the traditional worker and his relationships into a 24/7 experience put on display for all to see.
And yet, there seems to be an ongoing war between the people who use social media for personal relationships and the people who use social media for business. The personal side looks at the others and says, “Man, stop selling your stuff to us, we just want to chat with each other and be cool,” and the business side replies, “Dudes, why are you investing so much effort – working so hard at this social media thing – if you can’t eventually feed yourself from it?”
I use my accounts for both personal and professional – but I know from the feedback I get that I have a “personal branding issue.” My clients complain that I tweet too much about things they don’t care about with people they don’t know. My friends who knew me before I was consulting complain that I’m not fun, that all I ever do is talk about what I’m reading and learning, and that I never share my personal stories on my blog anymore – the reason they initially subscribed.
Personal branding is a conundrum for most people – we don’t want to be boring or sales-ish or an expert and we don’t want to be wild or gossipy or strange, and the two words are unmashable, like trying to force two magnets with opposite charges to touch. There is no win, no way to talk to people in our personal and professional lives the same way.
But it has to be done, because there is also no way to separate our personal lives from our professional ones. So here are my thoughts on how to handle the issue:
Accept that social media is a marketplace.
Everyone has something to sell, even the cool kids. Maybe it’s a website – maybe they are trying to get a promotion at work. Maybe they are just trying to cure self-esteem issues with @replies and comments, or maybe they have a product that they want you to purchase. The sooner we all accept this, the better.
Use Twitter and Facebook and your blog to both sell stuff and to talk to friends.
People think they don’t want to be friends with anyone who is a salesperson. But nobody want to buy something from a robot, so part of personal branding is learning how to sell to your friends without damaging the friendship. I write about online marketing mostly, but not always – I sometimes write about eating chocolate before a work out, or Obama winning the Nobel Peace prize. I want to be friends with you, but I also want to tell you what I’m up to professionally.
Refrain from ranting on social media, even if you would in real life to your friends.
I don’t think the world is a better place when people say what they want, rather than what’s nice. I refrain from ranting not because I’m afraid of confrontation, but because some of my clients can find it – and I want them to trust me, not think I’m an insane person with a bad attitude who can’t control her emotions.
Realize it’s expensive to be flippant.
Like this writer I know, who writes about sex a lot. But she represents a company, and sometimes when she writes about sex one of the potential partner companies calls to pull out of a deal. Negative ROI, baby.
To end, I leave you with a great quote I found today:
“You might think that going for years without ‘pitching’ anything would endear you to your audience. But in fact, it tends to just make them cranky when you finally get around to asking for the sale.” ~ Sonia Simone
How do you combine personal and professional online?
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You can manage the damage (at least on Facebook) by controlling your lists and permissions. I use list settings to stop different groups of people from seeing things I don’t want others to see.
Just about getting smart – you might not broker a huge deal over a pint in the pub, you might not tell that really rude joke at work. Use the lists and groups and filters to make sure what you say is appropriate for the audience.
Thank you for writing this article! Appropriately using Social Media to combine one’s personal and professional life is something I struggle with and admire those who do it successfully. So much depends upon one’s profession and one’s “brand”. And as you wrote, “personal branding is a conunundrum for most people”. I could easily relate to your comment about how your “clients complain that you talk about things they don’t care about with people they don’t know and your friends complain that you are ‘no fun’ anymore” and that you don’t share your “personal stories anymore”. Thanks also for the validation that one should use “Twitter and Facebook to both sell stuff and talk to friends”. The points you made were excellent; I look foward to reading your book and learning more.
Monica O’Brien wrote the piece. I liked it, and she kindly agreed to have it featured here as a guest post. In my experience it takes time, effort and practice to find a balance between personal and professional online. I believe I’ve achieved that in some places, but not yet in others. We all have to keep working on it.
Hi,
an interesting post. I share business tips & info as well as promoting my own services & workshops and lots of other local events on twitter and Linked. On FACEBOOK I give motivating tips info & posts on my company page and keep my own completely private.
Hi Wendy,
Thank you for taking the time to comment. From what you say you’re doing the right thing. Since the article was written things have moved on, particularly on Facebook, where it is now possible to entirely separate personal and business with a personal profile and the ability to set up any number of business pages, although they operate in a slightly different manner.
Great point here! What always amazes me is that people think posting on Facebook or Twitter isn’t public. Like the employee who gripes about a boss/company and is shocked to be fired, or a student who posts inappropriate pics and then wonders why employers or colleges shy away.
My rule of thumb is this… do not post anything that I couldn’t read back, out loud, to my grandmother. It’s fine to have opinions (what makes life interesting, in fact) but you don’t need to hit your readers over the head with them. Allow that others may feel just as strongly… on the opposite side of the issue.
In the end, whether for business or personal reasons, Facebook, Twitter and the rest are an amazing way to communicate, to promote yourself, NOT to preach, shock or otherwise offend. Nobody likes that.
Thanks for covering this much-neglected topic,
Susan
Well, Susan, what can I say. I agree with everything you say, and you’ve said it so well. Thank you for your comment. It is appreciated.
Thanks Robert for publishing this article. As I’m documenting the ups and downs of starting my own business/personal brand, I sometimes worry about the consequences as the details I share on my blog can be quite personal. However, I think my openness/honesty is MY brand — and I would rather work with clients who appreciate that.
Kudos to Susan Morgan above as well. Love her comments!
Hi Mandy, thanks for your comment. I’ve checked out your blog and now know where you’re coming from. I agree that your brand is YOU. The key thing is to be you, and comfortable with how much you’re sharing with the world. You should have limits, but as long as you observe them you shouldn’t have a problem. I wish you every possible success on your new journey and I’m here if you ever need someone to bounce ideas off.
Thank you for the repost, Robert.
I was just speaking to my friend/colleague about this very same topic yesterday. I feel that if you’re looking to be effective (market your product/idea) in your area of expertise, then you need to keep professional advice from personal “news” from mixing without productive intentions. I think this is true especially with twitter where people follow you for a specific reason without real interest in your personal life (at least in the beginning.)
Lemuel Jones A.´s last [type] ..SpeakOfMarriage: RT @HusbandWifeLife: Have confidence and believe in your Marriages potential. The more you believe in it, the more effort you will put i …
Hi Lemuel. Yes I think you sum it up very nicely. Thanks for taking the time to share those thoughts. Much appreciated.